STEVE'S ALL GROWN UP

It seems so very long ago that you were pounding PBR and drinking wine straight from the bottle. The beer, the girls, the kitchen floor that was so sticky it seemed like it was made of velcro....... ahh, your youth was a wonderful time.

Those times are behind you now, because you are one year older. Fun is dead. Life is no longer worth living and we have shifted into retirement. Congratulations on 23. You've made it through the threat of alcoholism at 21 and 22, so everything from here should be downhill.

Happy birthday, dude.

(PS. I'm submitting that to Hallmark as the "You're 23!" card.)