nevermind about the pizza and brew night tomorrow (thursday) i gott go fuck the dog in the city at a biznas dinah.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
that page is amazing.
check this one out. the only thing better than the question is the responses.
http://isitnormal.com/story/5941/
dude? chick?
at that weight, i dont think it matters too much... they ain't gonna be using what theyre momma gave them (if you know what im talking about). or actually, ive heard of people who are into realy really really fat chicks. that might be just as disgusting as 2girls1cup.... but then again, maybe not.
that video gives the phrase "eat shit, bitch" a whole world of new meaning.
http://isitnormal.com/story/5881/
i know youre a sucker for pink heads.
haha look its danemation
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1401674907163262251
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I saw the cheerleader get runover earlier this morning. HA! Lil one runs out on hurry to fix a problem with the banner then gets taken by THE WHOLE TEAM. Where do I begin? Well, getting run through by the team could work as practice seeing she's likely to experience the same scenario in college anyway. It's ok sweetie it'll feel much better then... until maybe the lineman take to mount but the hurt is over. She was wearing a tiara (crown) so i'll say she's counrty fck high schools homecoming queen of 2007! Sure alot of young outsiders and haters frkn looooved watching her get pummled. But who knows, maybe we'll catch her sometime in 08 on pornotube. NSFW!!!
PS- Anyone know which university this chicks checking into?
VH1's "The Flavor of Chillin"
K, jon- check it, i've got a great idea!! I've posted note to have a cardboard cutout delivered to steves by thursday evening. This way i can be there without being there! Make sure no chicks molest me at the party. I have a girlfriend. Maybe i should 2D her too?? Worst comes to worst and flips a shit in the meantime, how about we print a photo offff... hmm, myself and everyone has to take a pic with me! I'll make it an album on my fb profile. Punishment for ya'll leaving me -0(. yea he has one eye. he's special ok. I'm serious though. "history in the making. part two uh huh uh huh"
Yo steve ill bring my squash gear also, and Tom and JJ and we can have a cage match squash game...loser buys a round at the bar on saturday night.
but in order to bring my squash gear i would have to go and buy squash gear...perhaps at dicks, but dont look up dicks.com like i did....they dont sell sporting goods there.
anywho, JJ if Mike is going up early and Chris isnt coming then we can fit in one carro. me, you, tom, vanessa, and nora. you can sit in the fron since youre 6'6".
start putting the mega mix together...also Five Guys is located by your house correct?
ok, first of all. sick. awesome. radical.
definitely let's play squash on thursday night. i'll bring my stuff. I'm gonna get my ass kicked. i cant wait. second... i will definitely baby-sit the pup on friday. most likely i'll see if i can meet up with smitty... i'll try to send him an email and just bring the pup with me all day long. has he ever ridden the T? haha. actually, probably wont do that.
thirdly, no problem with the invite to the bro. fourthly, i think its sara sweets 21st bday on saturday. possibly meet them at a bar for a big blowout? gotta double check. fifthly, no daisy buchanans and no fist fights.
of course you can crash at my place....whenever you want.
Tell your bro to come to the party on Friday night if he wants but not to bring Timmy or Buddy or anyone else. Only underage kids allowed: your bro, my bro.
Why don't you bring up you squash gear and lets go play on Thursday night with the team. Ya? Let me know asap because this decision will change my plans for tonight...
May may very well have the pleasure of dog sitting on Friday. I can give you the task of making sure he is tired as a mother fucker so he isn't a bitch during the party. If you choose not to accept this mission, let me know so I can set up leaving him at a dog sitting place to get him tired. Your call.
Welcome Mr. CC!!
here i am! pick me! pick me!
im back in action after a stressful day. (boo hooo. im so whiny.)
1. ive had the opportunity to take off both thursday and friday from work in order to go north and worship the best city in the world.
2. thus, henceforth, i will likely be departing for said city on wednesday evening. on wednesday evening, i'll likely crash at my brother's place so that i can have the pleasure of seeing him, and buddy, and timmy. this will hopefully be only for one night. can i crash there thursday, friday, saturday mr. portela?
3. steve, I would like to see you thursday night, after work, if you'll be around. lets play Mancala with Gifford and then maybe scrabble....
4. I will offer my dog-sitting services for the day of Friday, November 2, 2007. Cooper will be a lady MAGNET. thank you. (if you look at "dog-sitting" quickly, it might appear to say "dog-shitting")
5. hi, tom.
6. hola, chris.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Kabooom guess who stepped in the room!?!
Yea looking grimm on me making this wknd. I'de have to fly out early morn then you'de all be touring maine upon my arrival =0(. I've scheduled a posh 230 facial to make up for the sadness. Sux that sounds gay n all but as i've witnessed, you can all entirely relate. Anywho, i've been trying too get passed the first 5 seconds of that "2chicks1cup" vid but hiding inside my girlfriends house while she and her grandmother are having a conversation within the next room doesnt make for good viewing comfort. I, being a film scholar, once made the dollars, but stepped out the lime light bc my shine was too bright, will confirm the authenticity of this supposed graphic, horrid, mess. Well, i'm off to make peace with the heavy bag fellas! shang-hi shangra-la.
that was a figure of speech, when i said "ill go ahead and pack the peach schnapps for my wife" i really meant "i enjoy the cool fruity sweet taste of peaches with my booze" but don't wanna look like a big vagina sippling bolinis down like its the night before prohibition hits so ill go ahead and say i brought it for my wife.
yo so we got the JJJetta and the BM going up friday? is that how we is gunna roll?
save the flattery for friday night lover boys - right now we have one mision and one mission only, decide what to have for lunch.
Todays choices are...1) Meatloaf and gravy2) Chicken noodle soup3) Saladim thinking number one.....anyways party?
fuck partying man im there to see history, take the tours, see the schools, endulge in the culture! the only party i want to go to involves indians, tea and the harbor of boston!ah nevermind - that sounds like a lot of hoofing around, lets just get tanked like our forefathers would have wanted us to.
as for timing...i dont know if we get on the road out of strong island around 7 well be in bostonia around 11ish? right more or less......all going well - so either one works for me, i like to party. i like the night life. i like to boogey.
as for the 2girls video. yes i saw it this weekend. i also saw my breakfast, round II shortly there after. one of the guys in the office here said he thought it was a fake and the poop was actually chocolate icecream. i think he is a moron. i felt a large piece of me die when i saw that video. as for drugs? no. ive never done drugs but if there were drugs to make you do things like that i think we would of heard about the poop eating drugs.......
ok ready? this shit is amazing - watch the long version (8 min) or the cliffnotes version (2 min)
Ive been meaning to proclaim my infinite love for you, but I have been withholding because of the vast number of viewers in the blog.
I just dont care anymore. I am letting it all out in an attempt to show the world that Steven B Portela is not a pushover. That he can indeed stand tall and force his way between a man and a women in his push to turn that very same man into his life long lover.
This man Jonathan.... It is you.
JJ i am right there with you man...i believe that our boy Tom finally watched the video as well and he too was left speechless. It makes you wonder....someone was like...hey girls you want to be in a movie...and they were like...ummm, sure....and then the guy said, but you have to eat shit...literally....and they said, well....um, i guess. I dont have anything else to do that day.
Anyway, how about those Sox...i guess we dont have to worry about possibly getting to a parade or anything since theyll have it on wed. probably.
check this out....
http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?videoId=3083220&categoryId=2564308&n8pe6c=2&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab5pos1
Saturday, October 27, 2007
An op-ed... In re: 2girls1cup Analysis
Thank you Tom for debunking the myth that girls don't shit. I hope you're happy. That video lead me to do some soul searching. If I have learned anything in life it is that regardless of what situation you find yourself in, you should always look to see what you can learn from it. Building that idea here we have two woman. By society's standards they are relatively decent looking, that is if you can look beyond their shit encrusted face. The both had a mother and a father who at some point probably thought to themselves, this is my daughter and she can be anything she wants. She could even be president of the United States. But right now, she's my little girl. Then something happened, something when horribly wrong. In the course of that little girl's life, the dreams of respectable glory faded away. Maybe its occurred quickly or perhaps it was a slow burn, which happened little by little over time where before you knew it, it was already too late. Who are we to speculate what the catalyst of such an event was, all we can do is opine on the end result. Here we have two women who have decided to enter the seedy world of adult entertainment. In our highly sexualized society this sort of news does not shock the conscience the way it did 30 years ago. However, these two went to the line of what's shocking, looked at the line and decided to do a long jump, Carl Lewis style, right over that line into a big pile of errr...shit. So here we have two women shitting and vomiting shit all over each other. Now what's the motivation? Money? Probably doesn't pay well. We are a capitalist society driven by the laws of supply and demand. I can't imagine there's much a demand for that type of scene. Stardom? I'd say this video would qualify as a skeleton in your closet. The big studios like family friendly skeletons like DWIs or shaving off your hair in front of the paparazzi. Chances are they won't touch you after this. Drugs? Maybe. Do you really need crack that much? I hear it fucks you up but, that bad?
To top it off, eating the shit was not bad enough. They had to throw it up on each other. What was that production meeting like? Going back to my first point, that you can learn something from every situation and experience, maybe this is the first situation where you can't. Maybe I'm a citizen of the rational world where rational people take rational steps to rationalized the irrational events that occur in the world around them. Maybe I'm in shock right now. Maybe there is no way to rationalize 2girls1 cup. Maybe its getting late. Maybe I should get to bed. Maybe I won't wake up tomorrow. After watching that video, lets change that to hopefully I won't wake up. Good night and good luck.
Friday, October 26, 2007
dude i told you not to watch it
that ebay thing is fucking hilarious - i wonder if its true
maybe this will take your mind off of things jon.....this if from kenny "nails" kneisley....nails because he doesnt just get drunk - he gets hammered....
Ken K QA: was a weee bit late cmoing into the office
Ken K QA: as in about an hour and 45 minutes late
Ken K QA: yeah
Thomas Perri: holy shit
Ken K QA: had dinner and drinks with a client, and then the boss's son was out with us and we kept drinking and he crashed on my couch
Ken K QA: he some how woke up and made it into the office this morning
Ken K QA: i on the other hand pissed the bed and woke up at 820
Thomas Perri: hahahaha
Ken K QA: i have a date tonight at 830 so needless to say we WONT be going back to my place
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200166922086
check the description out on this thing.....crazy shit
I would like to look like an ASS....Pronto
Generally speaking, mishmash concepts involving a cellphone and just about anything wearable haven't exactly taken off, but if Maxwell Smart can do it, why can't Samsung? In a recent patent application from the firm, a "wrist wearable type portable terminal" is described, which essentially acts as a wrist strap that functions as a cellphone holster. Granted, the idea could be problematic in a myriad ways -- leading to public humiliation and a lack of broad compatibility with mobiles for starters -- but we can't fault 'em for trying.
no steve not those five guys you queer....
THE Five guys is the best burger youve ever had, except youve never had it, so its the best burger youll ever have if you ever go there.....
if youre lucky maybe ill get one for you on friday and then you can experience the pure joy of eating this wonderful burger. --you bastard
ps..im going to the five girls video thingy although tom has warned not to go.....
can we stop at five guys for dinnah on the way up friday??
oh yeah and in case anyone took the time to google "two girls one cup" yesterday....im sorry...holy shit, im sorry...(pun intended on that last one).
if you havent checked it out, i wouldnt - but what i would do is go to you tube and type it in to see other peoples reactions to the video. the video itself is hooooooooorible, the reactions are hilllllllllllarious.
holy shit is it time to go home yet?
Alright. We'll if you guys are serious about going to Maine, we can do a day trip to Portland. It's supposedly nice and about a 2 hr drive from my place. We can go check out the city, walk on a beach and eat some lobsters. Let me know and I'll plan it all out.
I actually wouldn't mind doing it. Its not as long of a drive as I thought it was. We'll, Portland is the very first major city in Maine so.
Lets do it! Ya?
tom? where are you?
we could almost definitely trek it into NH, maybe to Nashua just for the shit of it, but even i know that Maine is FAR. (aka, more than 45 minutes). what a screw up that beach trip was. i apologize yet again.
not really alot of things to do in NH or Maine. Its not Las Vegas where you just drive into the city and all of a sudden there are tons of whores throwing themselves onto you. Its more like you get inside the state limits and then see a moose.... if youre lucky. i do like moose though. and steve is correct.... legal seafoods is really really really really really rediculously good.
TOM COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Steve im saying we should go to Maine because JJ said that he had been to every state in the northeast except for maine and new hampshire.........
so since we were already going to be in Boston that we should go to Maine for a ride if it was possible....you know, since we took that trip to the beach i figured we could drive 45 minutes to Maine.
I added that Lobster thing because...well i like lobster....and i figured if we were going to go to Maine I could atleast get my eat on....
1
Mike: I have a feeling the rockies will do better at home although last night was awfully close.
This means that if they win all three at home, games 6 and 7 in Boston (if needed) will be Wednesday and Thursday. Or they can do what they did in 04 and sweep. We will have to wait and see.
Jon: Be patient jerk. Gots a whole week to work things out. The plan at this point is to throw a party at my place one of the nights. Would you prefer it be Friday or Saturday? I guess it depends on when you plan to leave on Friday. As far as lobsters go, its a great idea, but I recommend we go to Legal Seafoods and not Maine. Maine is like 3 hrs away, or 40 mins in Mikey time. Legal is down the road and really really really (you get my gist) good.
keep on keepin on crackers
P.S.- someone help tom on using this blog. He doesn't understand the concept of posting on the main page as opposed to the comments pages. Oh we love you you married beluga!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
its me, mikey
yo yo yo yo yo.
this is the greatest idea any of you college-educated rhode scholars could have ever even begin to have thought up.
i love blogs. the word is even fun to say! blog bloggity blog blog. will someone pass the blog, please?
hello everyone!
Yo yO Yo..whats going on...hope everyone is having a great day.....steve what is mike's email address so we can invite him to our partayyy....also, tom send me another video cause the one you sent before was funny as hell...
i have to go do my part and find something funny to put on here...be back in a bit
Courtesy of JJ Batt
This is amazing JJ. I thought I was bad with girls, but I think now I come in at a close 2nd.
--------------------
Let the games begin. I'd like to start us off with an actual email sent to a friend of a friend. At the time the girl receiving this email was at Boston U and it was from a Greek foreign exchange student.
Subject: hi
Hi Dana, how are you ? Are you still feeling bad about the cse
exam ? Dont worry, you will do well in the final.
Next week my friend is making a party, and there will be a lot of
people, maybe around 80. I know it sounds a lot and it will be the
craziest party that this college ever had. The party will be off-campus,
in a big house about 8 minutes from college. My friend told me everything
and I must say that it is really wild. You are welcomed to come if you
want. My friend told me that, at the party, there will be a lot of
drinking everthing from maragritas, cocktails to beers. There is
going to be dancing, stripping(that's right), drinking, games(like strip
poker), and sex (if you are interested). There will be sex, meaning that
if you like someone, you can hook up with that person and have fun doing
sex. I know this is true because I went to his party last month, and
during that party a lot of my friends had sex, including me. I know it
sound too wild and too crazy, but it is fun. I dont know if this party is
your type of party but you tell me.
Now that I mentioned sex, (please dont think of me as a big bad
wolf), are you interesting to have sex with me ? I know that you told me
before that you dont want a boyfriend. I am interested to have sex with
you because I think you are a cool girl and hot too. It doesnt mean that I
want to go on a date with you, since you refused, just that I want to try
sex with you. Please tell me what you think(dont hesistate to tell
me). You can tell me anything honestly. Tell me if you want
to go to this party too ?
bye
andy
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Let the games begin!!!
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Who will lead us off? JJ?
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